Introduction: Understanding Sex in Islam
Sexual relations within marriage are considered a natural and fulfilling part of life in Islam. The Quran and Sunnah provide guidance on how spouses should approach intimacy, emphasizing mutual respect, pleasure, and the spiritual significance of marital bonds. This guide outlines the proper etiquette of sex in Islam, permissible acts, and prohibited actions to help Muslims approach sexual intimacy with an awareness of Islamic teachings.
How to Have Sex (Sexual Intercourse) in Islam: Key Principles
In Islam, sexual intercourse between a husband and wife is an act of love and mercy. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) encouraged spouses to maintain a loving, respectful, and fulfilling intimate relationship.
- Mutual Consent: Both partners should engage in intercourse willingly, with consideration of each other’s comfort and feelings.
- Foreplay: Islam encourages foreplay as a means of enhancing mutual pleasure. The Prophet (PBUH) recommended acts of foreplay, including kissing and gentle caresses, to create a harmonious atmosphere.
- Cleanliness and Prayer: Before engaging in intercourse, it is advised to say “Bismillah” (In the name of Allah Almighty) for protection. Additionally, maintaining personal hygiene and performing ghusl (ritual purification) afterward is essential.
Islam and Sexual Intercourse: What’s Allowed and What’s Not
Islam permits a wide range of intimate expressions between spouses. However, there are clear prohibitions that Muslims should avoid:
Acts That Are Clearly Prohibited in Shariah
- Anal Sex: Islam strictly prohibits anal intercourse. It is regarded as a grave sin. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Allah Almighty will not look at a man who has intercourse with a woman in her rectum” (Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood).
- Sex During Menstruation (Haidh): Engaging in sexual intercourse during a woman’s menstrual period is prohibited in Islam. The Quran states: “And they ask you about menstruation. Say, ‘It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation, and do not approach them until they are pure…’” (Quran 2:222). Engaging in sex during periods can lead to both physical and spiritual harm.
- Oral Sex: Islamic scholars have differing views on oral sex. While some see it as permissible if both spouses agree, others discourage it due to concerns about cleanliness and dignity. Many scholars advise against oral sex if it involves impurity, as Islam encourages maintaining personal hygiene during intimate acts.
Hazrat Abu Hurayrah (RA) narrated that:
The Prophet (SAW) said: If anyone resorts to a diviner and believes in what he says (according) to the version of Musa), or has intercourse with his wife (according to the agreed version) when she is menstruating or has intercourse with his wife through her anus, he has nothing to do with what has been sent down to Muhammad (SAW) – according to the version of Musaddad. (Sunan Abi Dawud 3904)
Islamic Shariah Rulings on Sexual Intercourse Between Husband and Wife
Islamic teachings emphasize respect, affection, and mutual consideration during intercourse. Here are some guidelines based on Islamic rulings:
- Kissing and Foreplay: Encouraged as an act of love and mercy. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) emphasized the importance of foreplay, stating, “None of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; let there be an emissary between them.” When asked what this meant, he replied, “Kissing and speaking” (Sunan Ibn Majah).
- Saying Bismillah Before Intercourse: Before engaging in intercourse, it is recommended to say, “Bismillah, Allahumma jannibna ash-shaytan wa jannib ash-shaytan ma razaqtana” (In the name of Allah, O Allah, keep the devil away from us and keep the devil away from what You may grant us). The Prophet (PBUH) mentioned that saying this protects the offspring from the influence of Satan (Sahih al-Bukhari 6388).
- Permissible Positions: While Islam allows various sexual positions, scholars advise against positions that cause discomfort or harm. The Quran mentions, “Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish…” (Quran 2:223), which indicates flexibility, provided the act remains dignified.
Sex Positions Banned in Islam
Islam prohibits any sexual act that causes harm or discomfort. Therefore, any position that inflicts pain or demeans either partner is discouraged. Additionally, as mentioned earlier, anal intercourse is explicitly forbidden in Islam.
Frequently Asked Questions
Ghusl becomes obligatory for both husband and wife after sexual intercourse or ejaculation. This ritual purification is necessary before they can perform prayers or other religious duties.
Yes, it is permissible. The Prophet (PBUH) and his wives were reported to have performed ghusl together, reflecting the closeness and comfort spouses can have with each other.
The practice of ‘azl (withdrawal) is allowed with the wife’s consent. According to a hadith, “We used to practice withdrawal during the Prophet’s (PBUH) time, and he knew it” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1137). However, it is encouraged to openly communicate and mutually agree on family planning matters.
Yes, Islam allows for communication between spouses during intercourse, as it is an expression of love and affection. It enhances the emotional bond and makes the experience more fulfilling for both.
Premarital sex (zina) is a grave sin in Islam. In Islamic law (Shariah), the punishment for zina varies based on marital status and is subject to the legal framework of an Islamic state. The Quran and hadith prescribe severe consequences, emphasizing the importance of chastity.
Sexual intercourse is not allowed during the daylight hours of Ramadan. However, it is permissible after the fast is broken at sunset until the pre-dawn meal (Suhoor). Engaging in intercourse during fasting hours invalidates the fast and requires atonement.
Additional Points on Etiquette of Sex
- Punishment for Having Sex During Periods in Islam: Intercourse during menstruation is forbidden. There is no specific worldly punishment mentioned in the Quran or hadith, but it is considered sinful and requires repentance.
- Is Oral Sex Allowed in Islam? As mentioned earlier, opinions differ. Some scholars permit it if it does not involve impurities, while others discourage it due to concerns about modesty.
- Sex During Pregnancy in Islam: Islam permits sexual intercourse during pregnancy, provided it does not harm the mother or the baby. Mutual comfort and the advice of a healthcare professional should be considered.
- Dua Before Intercourse: Saying the Bismillah dua mentioned earlier helps ensure the act is protected and blessed.
Conclusion
Sex in Islam is a natural and blessed act when performed within the confines of marriage. It is a means of expressing love, compassion, and unity between husband and wife. By following Islamic guidelines and avoiding prohibited acts, spouses can enjoy a fulfilling and spiritually rewarding intimate relationship. Understanding and adhering to these etiquettes is key to maintaining a healthy and harmonious marital life.
